Being a Teen

So Erin is turning 16 tomorrow.  Which is crazy to think about her turning 16.  I have only been playing the "mom" role in her life for 2ish years but I have known her since she was probably around 9 or 10.  With this big event happening in her life it makes me start reflecting.

I have been thinking a lot about my junior high and high school years and praying that Andy and Erin are not having what I experienced.  Andy and Erin are classic personality's to be made fun of because they are both so unique and original.  And I hate that this still goes on in 2011.  It wasn't really until my Junior year of High School that I developed a close friend (which I still have and love her dearly).  But until then I was bullied beyond all reason.  Those times really shaped who I was for many years after that and some even today.  I sometimes wonder who and what I would have been if my all of my joy hadn't been sucked out by simply mean peers.  Now I hope that what learned from the torture of those years that I can teach Erin and Andy how to deal with those issues when they arise.  Hopefully they were not like me and think there parents don't know anything :-)

As we celebrate Erin's birthday tomorrow I really hope she enjoys herself.  She is such a strong girl and beautiful girl.  To be really honest I can't help but wish Kristina was here to celebrate this day with her.  Erin loved her mom so much and she was her best friend. I know Erin will be thinking about her a lot tomorrow wishing the same thing I am which breaks my heart in many ways.  So I must push on praying that she will feel loved by many people tomorrow and know how special she is and that I love her more then she knows.

Getting Back into it!!!!

So back in the day, I use to love photography. I simply loved taking photo's....it was a peaceful time for me. So then I started taking wedding pic's which I loved but didn't love the stress (aka Mothers of the bride) or messing up!!! Then all things went digital and I just stopped. Then my photography (aka My best friend) decided to move across the world (just a few states but it feels a world away) and I started to do some research for a new photographer. I found several I loved but they were expensive (and most you didn't get to keep the photo rights) and since I've decided to stay at home we don't have much extra money to spare so I decided to see what I could do in the digital world.  So here is a few pic's of my nephew..



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This is an article that was published in my local paper. It is featuring Gilbert's stay at the NICU for the Ronald McDonald House Share a heart campaign. Click on share below.


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Babies, Fun, and Sickness!!!

Gilbert ran a fever last week for 24 hours but turned around and seemed to be on the mend. So I decided to get out of the house last Saturday.........I called it my Adult day!!!! It started my sleeping in (yeah) and then I met mom and Tessa at the Tea Room in Ozark and then a quick trip to SAMS SAMS SAMS (one of my favorite places) to take pic's of the Laughing Cow display (tessa works for Bel Brands Cheese). Then we spent a few hours with Angela who is a strong woman. She had Rhett James Williamson last Friday after 44 hours of labor!!! Little Rhett is in the NICU but is doing really good. I ended the night with a great dinner at Lonestar with Ashley and Greg and my hubby....love them. I had planned on taking photo's all day to document my adult day but I forgot my memory card....urgh.

Then came Sunday when Gil woke up with a horrible cough!!!!! And again on Monday so I decided to call the doctor. And after examination the doctor said "we won't admit him......yet." So we have fought all week to keep him out of the hospital. We have been using an nebulizer 4 times a day and keeping him upright during sleep times and pushing liquids. He is still coughing but I think her made a turn for the better today. Has been super active and not as clinge. And to top it off I've had a sinus infection.........urgh. So George has had to stay home this week to help out. We did have a cool nebulizer though!!!! And my diet went to pot thru all of this so I will wieght in again next week.

We also got the rest of Ashley's pic's from Gil's 1 year old shoot. Here are a couple of my favorites!!! The last 2 she said looked to studio!! But I love them!!!!!

Best part of my day

So in the morning Gil usually wakes up and goes back to sleep for a few hours. We are a month into the "sleeping schedule" with him. And the before the schedule we would let him fall asleep on us and then put him down (or attempt to...he would always wake up and then end up sleeping with us.....hence it was time for a schedule). Well when he goes back to sleep in the am....George brings him to me and I get to watch him fall back to sleep......just love it. Very special time.....he's so peaceful and cute. It makes me smile and maybe I've cried a few times.

First Wiegh In

So my first wiegh in today and it was..............- 3.5 pds............not to bad for the 1st week. Will admit was a bit disappointed (I use to loose 3-8 pds per week at WW) but then remembered that wasn't starving at all this week, I had fun working out, and didn't deprive myself. So a good first wiegh in.........but a bit of a rough day today before I had my reflection I pigged out on popcorn :-) And enchilda's are on the menu for tonight. But I think I deserve it :-)

Snow, doctors, and babies

So this was Gil's first snow!!!! It was so cold we were out....oh maybe 10 minutes......he is so laid back. And was pretty much.....ok....so this is snow....can we go inside and drink milk!!!! Of course the other 2 boys enjoy some more snow!!!!

Gil's first year appointment was today. All is good....75% on head size, 15% for wieght, and 25% of hieght on the one year chart!!! Yeah!!!! He will stay on a small amount of formula until 15 months unless he won't take it after discovering real milk.

We did talk about what the procedure would be for baby #2. Along with seeing her we would also see a specialist that could recommend anything from 1 progesterone shot per week all the way to some extreme measures (sewing up the cervical). She said since I actually had labor pains that she didn't think the extreme would be the case. And if I didn't go full term that the specilist would deliver and we would deliver at Cox anything before 36 weeks. So we much to think about!!!! Along with the fact that I just don't know if I want another one......that would be 5 kids......at that point ages 16, 12, 5, 2 and a newborn..........ummmmm I might be crazy!!!!

Reflections on 2010, what I hope for in 2011, and update

So 2010 was overall a stinky year. Gil's early delivery, many days of an ICU, whooping cough, many trip to doctors and hospitals, losing my job...........but I've decided that I can either dwell on all of those things or I can see the positive in 2010........so I've decided on the postive..........Gil is a healthly active boy, I'm almost over the whooping cough, I have an amazing family and a great group of friends, I spent 5 out 12 months at home with my boys, and many more things.

Losing my job was a difficult thing for me. After the Gil situation I went back to work with much more appreication for life in general and really found that I loved my job. I love accomplishing things and being productive. It's that life lesson that once you lose something you realize how much you loved it. And what I loved the most were the people. My co-workers were really a big family and I love them all dearly and miss them all. It's been hard not having the Y in my life anymore...I had been there for 8 years.....it's like breaking up with your boyfriend and still having to see them everyday......I can't leave the house without someone asking me about the lay off or asking me about the Y b/c they don't know about the lay off. That part is getting easier as time goes on. My hope is that I can let loose of my hurt and the big P word (pride) and go back to the Y (not to work but to visit and be involved). I think I will always feel that I failed so I hope that I can see past that someday too. It may have ended on a sour note but I owe a lot to the Y.........I guess you could say that I grew up as an adult there!!!!

I now am looking for a new job. Don't know what it will be but I'm very open. I hope to work pt somewhere but we will see how that goes. I don't mind to work for non-profit or for profit, my hope is to work for company that has true belief in what they are doing that they really care for one another and takes care of each other. For right now I'm staying home with Ben and Gil and mostly loving it. If your reading this and know me at all you will understand that comment. Not that in any mean that taking care of my kids is not purposeful but I guess I just like to work!!! I guess that comes from my parents and from "Hard Work U".

Anyways now to 2011.........my depressed days are over!!!!!!!!! I feel very hopeful in general right now......it just happened to be a new year as well.......how fitting :-)

So I do have a few goals for 2011


1. To become more healthly----I'm not setting a wieght loss goal b/c it is more about being healthly but in the process losing wieght would be necessary!!! So I'm not going back to wieght watchers.....A. Because it costs money and B. Because I'm not going to spend the rest of my life tracking points. I have got to do it in a way that I can still cook for my family and it not consume my life. But I do like wieght watchers because it keeps my accountable so I'm going to start posting how much I have lost each week (got this idea from reading Kate's blog). I have also been using the Wii Fit to help out with that as well.

2. To be a better wife and mother. Turns out I don't have much patience. I have got to get a better grip on this......I'm driving my kids and hubby crazy. I also need to work on delievering my high expections in a kinder/different way (if that makes sense)?

3. To not worry so much and just live. I am constantly worring about..........money. And I have just got to stop......you would think I would learn my lesson b/c it always works out!!!!!!! Not that I'm going to go blow money but may I only go over the budget once a week or once every other week (cause I normally do it every day :-)


Ok......so a long blog for not doing it in six months. But I will be posting updates on my blog and not on facebook (just too many people looking.....I will continue to post pic and simple status)