Reflections on 2010, what I hope for in 2011, and update

So 2010 was overall a stinky year. Gil's early delivery, many days of an ICU, whooping cough, many trip to doctors and hospitals, losing my job...........but I've decided that I can either dwell on all of those things or I can see the positive in 2010........so I've decided on the postive..........Gil is a healthly active boy, I'm almost over the whooping cough, I have an amazing family and a great group of friends, I spent 5 out 12 months at home with my boys, and many more things.

Losing my job was a difficult thing for me. After the Gil situation I went back to work with much more appreication for life in general and really found that I loved my job. I love accomplishing things and being productive. It's that life lesson that once you lose something you realize how much you loved it. And what I loved the most were the people. My co-workers were really a big family and I love them all dearly and miss them all. It's been hard not having the Y in my life anymore...I had been there for 8 years.....it's like breaking up with your boyfriend and still having to see them everyday......I can't leave the house without someone asking me about the lay off or asking me about the Y b/c they don't know about the lay off. That part is getting easier as time goes on. My hope is that I can let loose of my hurt and the big P word (pride) and go back to the Y (not to work but to visit and be involved). I think I will always feel that I failed so I hope that I can see past that someday too. It may have ended on a sour note but I owe a lot to the Y.........I guess you could say that I grew up as an adult there!!!!

I now am looking for a new job. Don't know what it will be but I'm very open. I hope to work pt somewhere but we will see how that goes. I don't mind to work for non-profit or for profit, my hope is to work for company that has true belief in what they are doing that they really care for one another and takes care of each other. For right now I'm staying home with Ben and Gil and mostly loving it. If your reading this and know me at all you will understand that comment. Not that in any mean that taking care of my kids is not purposeful but I guess I just like to work!!! I guess that comes from my parents and from "Hard Work U".

Anyways now to 2011.........my depressed days are over!!!!!!!!! I feel very hopeful in general right now......it just happened to be a new year as well.......how fitting :-)

So I do have a few goals for 2011


1. To become more healthly----I'm not setting a wieght loss goal b/c it is more about being healthly but in the process losing wieght would be necessary!!! So I'm not going back to wieght watchers.....A. Because it costs money and B. Because I'm not going to spend the rest of my life tracking points. I have got to do it in a way that I can still cook for my family and it not consume my life. But I do like wieght watchers because it keeps my accountable so I'm going to start posting how much I have lost each week (got this idea from reading Kate's blog). I have also been using the Wii Fit to help out with that as well.

2. To be a better wife and mother. Turns out I don't have much patience. I have got to get a better grip on this......I'm driving my kids and hubby crazy. I also need to work on delievering my high expections in a kinder/different way (if that makes sense)?

3. To not worry so much and just live. I am constantly worring about..........money. And I have just got to stop......you would think I would learn my lesson b/c it always works out!!!!!!! Not that I'm going to go blow money but may I only go over the budget once a week or once every other week (cause I normally do it every day :-)


Ok......so a long blog for not doing it in six months. But I will be posting updates on my blog and not on facebook (just too many people looking.....I will continue to post pic and simple status)