Snow, doctors, and babies

So this was Gil's first snow!!!! It was so cold we were out....oh maybe 10 minutes......he is so laid back. And was pretty much.....ok....so this is snow....can we go inside and drink milk!!!! Of course the other 2 boys enjoy some more snow!!!!

Gil's first year appointment was today. All is good....75% on head size, 15% for wieght, and 25% of hieght on the one year chart!!! Yeah!!!! He will stay on a small amount of formula until 15 months unless he won't take it after discovering real milk.

We did talk about what the procedure would be for baby #2. Along with seeing her we would also see a specialist that could recommend anything from 1 progesterone shot per week all the way to some extreme measures (sewing up the cervical). She said since I actually had labor pains that she didn't think the extreme would be the case. And if I didn't go full term that the specilist would deliver and we would deliver at Cox anything before 36 weeks. So we much to think about!!!! Along with the fact that I just don't know if I want another one......that would be 5 kids......at that point ages 16, 12, 5, 2 and a newborn..........ummmmm I might be crazy!!!!

Reflections on 2010, what I hope for in 2011, and update

So 2010 was overall a stinky year. Gil's early delivery, many days of an ICU, whooping cough, many trip to doctors and hospitals, losing my job...........but I've decided that I can either dwell on all of those things or I can see the positive in 2010........so I've decided on the postive..........Gil is a healthly active boy, I'm almost over the whooping cough, I have an amazing family and a great group of friends, I spent 5 out 12 months at home with my boys, and many more things.

Losing my job was a difficult thing for me. After the Gil situation I went back to work with much more appreication for life in general and really found that I loved my job. I love accomplishing things and being productive. It's that life lesson that once you lose something you realize how much you loved it. And what I loved the most were the people. My co-workers were really a big family and I love them all dearly and miss them all. It's been hard not having the Y in my life anymore...I had been there for 8 years.....it's like breaking up with your boyfriend and still having to see them everyday......I can't leave the house without someone asking me about the lay off or asking me about the Y b/c they don't know about the lay off. That part is getting easier as time goes on. My hope is that I can let loose of my hurt and the big P word (pride) and go back to the Y (not to work but to visit and be involved). I think I will always feel that I failed so I hope that I can see past that someday too. It may have ended on a sour note but I owe a lot to the Y.........I guess you could say that I grew up as an adult there!!!!

I now am looking for a new job. Don't know what it will be but I'm very open. I hope to work pt somewhere but we will see how that goes. I don't mind to work for non-profit or for profit, my hope is to work for company that has true belief in what they are doing that they really care for one another and takes care of each other. For right now I'm staying home with Ben and Gil and mostly loving it. If your reading this and know me at all you will understand that comment. Not that in any mean that taking care of my kids is not purposeful but I guess I just like to work!!! I guess that comes from my parents and from "Hard Work U".

Anyways now to 2011.........my depressed days are over!!!!!!!!! I feel very hopeful in general right now......it just happened to be a new year as well.......how fitting :-)

So I do have a few goals for 2011


1. To become more healthly----I'm not setting a wieght loss goal b/c it is more about being healthly but in the process losing wieght would be necessary!!! So I'm not going back to wieght watchers.....A. Because it costs money and B. Because I'm not going to spend the rest of my life tracking points. I have got to do it in a way that I can still cook for my family and it not consume my life. But I do like wieght watchers because it keeps my accountable so I'm going to start posting how much I have lost each week (got this idea from reading Kate's blog). I have also been using the Wii Fit to help out with that as well.

2. To be a better wife and mother. Turns out I don't have much patience. I have got to get a better grip on this......I'm driving my kids and hubby crazy. I also need to work on delievering my high expections in a kinder/different way (if that makes sense)?

3. To not worry so much and just live. I am constantly worring about..........money. And I have just got to stop......you would think I would learn my lesson b/c it always works out!!!!!!! Not that I'm going to go blow money but may I only go over the budget once a week or once every other week (cause I normally do it every day :-)


Ok......so a long blog for not doing it in six months. But I will be posting updates on my blog and not on facebook (just too many people looking.....I will continue to post pic and simple status)

I'm bad at this

I knew I would be bad at this!!!!! But the pure joy of having Gil home turned into being very overwhelming. Feeling a little better now. The Track is crazy busy right now and George is working a lot!!!!! He is having to do a lot of evening shift (which is 4 to close) right in a row. Thank God for Erin or I might go crazy. Trying to get Andy, Ben, and Gil cared for by myself keeps me on my and I just pray when I'm by myself that Erin doesn't become drama queen cause that usually puts me over the edge!!!! These days are when I look forward to going back to work!!!! Maybe the Lord will bless George with a promotion though, and I can only have to work PT, cause most days I wonder how I could possibly go back to work!!!!!! Though I will say that the Track has been really good to George, though I think he deserves it, he's such a hard worker and very loyal!!!!!!!!

Cat came to see me today and I got to meet Maylin. She is 3 weeks younger then Gil. Crazy!!! It's nice to have a friend that has kids the same age (except she has one in between too, don't know how she does it!!!!!!!!). Hopefully she can visit longer the next time. Praise God she has family in the area so we have the opportunity to see each other!!!!!

Going to the creek tomorrow with Mom and Dad, George has to work. So this might be interesting. They are bring the food or I might have went crazy since I just spent 30 minutes just packing chairs and lifejackets!!!!!

Praise God that the van just has a minor problem with it. I've been sick at my stomach for a week about it!!!!! I thought it was going to be the transmission!!!!!!!!

Very excited for next weekend!!! George and I are going to stay at the Keeter Center for the weekend to celebrate mom and dad day and for my birthday!!! Very excited. Mom and dad and Tina are watching the boys and we will only be 2.5 miles away, so I think I'll be ok leaving Gil. But I think the excitement of sleeping will out way me being anxious about it!!!!!

Anyways that is a quick update!!!!!!!!

God is bigger then us

Found out tonight that a dear friend of mine has cancer and is also my office manager at work. My heart goes out to her and her family. It instantly brought back memories of Kris passing. But one thing I've learned this year is that God performs miracles!!!!

Work out

So my thought "20 minute workout, no problem" Jillian kicked my but!!!!!!!!!! I did her 30 day shred on the beginning level and I thought I was going to pass out!!!! Very excited to see what happens after doing it for a few weeks!!!!!

Gilbert

Soooo......We spent 104 days in the NICU. Before this I didn't even know what it stood for (Neonatal Intensive Care unit)!!!! It was the hardest 104 days I ever known and hope I don't ever experience again.

When you dream about having a baby your whole life, you don't dream about being in the NICU, and you don't dream about delivering 12 weeks early. I missed soooo many moments with Gilbert, most of them I'm sure I will never know I missed. I had to share him with a zillion other women that acted as his care giver. Interesting that I really didn't think about these things until I was out of there. When I was there I was sooo wrapped up in making sure he was getting the best care he could get!!!!

All of this to say, one of the things that has hurt me the most, was not being able to breastfeed. Last night I talked to George that I was going to stop trying and stop pumping (b/c it's very time consuming, esp. when I have to do it when Gil is sleeping or calm enough for me to put him down). George and I agreed to try until Friday and then go from there, then today (actually the first day it has been just Gil and I) he held on for 15 minutes on both sides. God is Good!!!! Even if it might not last (my production is way down) a few minutes is all I have been praying for, just to have a few of those moments back I didn't get!!!!

A new Thing

So I've decided to try my hand at a blog. We will see if I have time for it. Have been wanting to do it for a while now.

Just tried to download a template. I wasn't successful!!!!

I'm having a blast being home with Gilbert!!! Thought I would post a pic from today and I will post more later, since I just spent his nap trying to download a new template :-)